I grew up with a lot of male friends - I wasn't a tomboy (I left the tree climbing and dungarees to my sister) but I gained, what I thought, was a pretty accurate idea of how the male mind worked - WRONG!!!!
I understand that men can't get excited about finding a handbag AND the matching shoes in the sale, they don't understand how trying a new shade of lippy can really brighten your day and they certainly don't understand our need to chat to our friends every night for an hour about what happened in Eastenders, Corrie, BB, Desperate Housewives....etc.
The life of a Man seems very black and white to me. Work, Beer, Sex, Football, Yes, No, Wrong, Right. Sorted. The life of a woman is much more multicoloured!
Women will 'talk through their problems' (or start a blog!!!), they'll analyse, assess, ponder, reminisce, cry, laugh, moan, bitch......the list is endless! We spend a lot of time thinking things through and remember everything.
So I come to the point of men in relationships. Now don't get me wrong, I appreciate men have a hard time with us ladies at times. We say we're fine when we're actually not, we expect our boyfriends to read our minds, we expect them to tell us our 'bum doesn't look big' - even before we've asked them and we expect them to notice when we've had our hair trimmed, tried a new eyeshadow or bought a new pair of shoes. We expect to be lavished with flowers and chocolates but when they turn up on the door step with them our suspicious minds think 'whats he done wrong this time'.
So OK, girlfriends can be hard work but its our complexities that make us who we are! It makes us interesting! Now what I don't understand is how men can spend the whole day in the pub with their mates and talk about nothing. I mean how long does it take to talk about the previous nights footie match? I'd love to be a fly on the wall. I can imagine the conversation going like this:
"You see the footie last night"
"Yeah, the ref needs sacking, no way was that ball offside"
"Innit"
"You see the tits on page 3 today, she was well fit"
"Well fit. Innit"
I want to hear men talking about their feelings, the new coat they bought last week, recommending a new diet, what they're buying their mums/sister/girlfriends for their birthday and whether Paris or Italy is the most stylish city. I want to hear them debate over whether Posh spice is too skinny or whether they think Britney will make a comeback - you know, important stuff!
So I come to the point of men and break ups. Whilst us girls sit at home for weeks with our large tub of Ben and Jerry's and a family size Galaxy bar, our exes are back to normality within 24 hours . They're not reading through old notes and cards or crying into their pillows, they're not watching old movies or listening to sad soppy songs from under their duvets and they're not feeling bitter and lonely and picturing themselves growing old alone surrounded by cats! They go to the pub, get drunk and when your name is mentioned they've forgotten you already ("who? Oh yeah her, no I dumped her yesterday!!!")
Maybe we do come from different planets and the historians forgot to mention it? Maybe its not a bad thing that men and women are so different - surely if we were all the same it would make for a dull and boring life - simple, but boring!
So from now on I'm going to try and adopt a more 'male' attitude to life - be a little more chilled and take things on the chin. And hopefully next time your sat in the pub and you hear a group of lads talking, maybe the conversation will be "No mate, I'm telling you, the cut of those trousers really does suit you, have you lost weight?"
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