School days... do any of us every forget those days, desperate to be a grown up and free from rules and restrictions? If only we'd listened to our parents when they told us life was easier within the school gates!
So 11 years later and the school 'reunion' was arranged. I think we all approach such events with mild trepidation but I enjoyed school, I have happy memories of it and I thought 'why not'!
Our school reunion was great fun, many of the people who attended I hadn't seen since I was 16 and many of them I hadn't ever really spoken to at school so it was great to get to know those people who were faces in the corridor but that your lives didn't cross over with...which when you're 16 means that they simply weren't in your double maths and english class, drama group or didn't hang around the same chip shop as you!
Now I wasn't particually significant at school. I wasn't a geek, I wasn't a swot, I didn't hang round the 'popular' kids and I didn't have a perm! I was just an in-betweener, one of those that didn't belong to a certain group but was happy to be just that. My greatest act of rebellion was wearing Doc Martins (albeit Cherry Red ones!) and having a few extra ear piercings that I had to hide from my Dad at every meal time for about 2 years! I was in the school plays, I sung in the school band (we never quite made it to 'choir' level) and I got on with most of my teachers! Most of my close friends from school are still my close friends and to be honest, I haven't changed a great deal. I still have pretty much the same hairstyle, the same dress size and I still don't stop for air when I'm talking!
Seeing people from school was quite surreal, it was like being back in the school field only with alcohol...and in a pub....and with mobile phones...and some money...actually it was totally different from being in the school field. Seeing all these familiar faces that you haven't seen in years makes you look at back at what you've achieved and the dreams and aspirations you still need to reach. You see what different paths people choose and see the other journeys people have taken.
I still think of myself as that slightly awkward teenager who isn't quite sure what group I sit with but I like that...I like the fact that I'm still learning about myself but at the same time can see that errors I've made have been useful and that sometimes you learn more from your mistakes than anything else. I'm a 29 year old with the mind of a teenager but without the spots and training bra. I still have so much I want to do and so much I still need to learn but I'm happy with the person I am and still have as many dreams as I did all those years ago.
So for anyone with a school reunion ahead who's questioning whether they should bother, just go....chances are you'll have a whale of a time, make new friends and cement old ones.....and if nothing else, its a great chance to see how everyone esle turned out!
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
Wednesday, 24 September 2008
The age old topic...of age!
Getting older, its not something we enjoy, nor is it something we can prevent. We spend much of our youth wanting to be older, wanting independence, some money in our pocket and our freedom. Once we have it, we want to turn back the clock to times where we had nothing to think about and not a care in the world. In full, we're never happy!
There was once a notion of growing old gracefully, seeing age as a depth of character, of lessons learned and experiences under your belt to pave the way for adventures of your future. Pah, its now about Youth Youth Youth..... and plenty of it!
The getting older part doesn't seem so bad... it's the ageing part that seems to have everyone in a state of turmoil these days! Everywhere you look there are adverts about delaying the process, lotions and potions to take years off and endless documentaries, reality shows and makeover programmes showing us all what we could (or should) look like. Now at 29 I know I have some time to go until this is a concern but naturally I do think about it, when will it happen, at what time will I look in the mirror and think 'when did I get old'???
I think maybe Botox will be the next thing for us, it'll be as regular as having your hair done, getting a manicure and having a bikini wax but do we really know the dangers and how many people really care in their pursuit for everlasting youth?
I, for one, am guilty of the hype. If a night cream promises to smooth and plump I'm at the front of the queue, elbows at the ready for any necessary pushing and shoving and applying it before I've even left the shop! I was the same with spot creams as a teenager and frankly I'm happier with the skin I have now than I did back then - to reiterate, we are NEVER HAPPY!
But growing old gracefully? I'm not sure that's for me! I'll be nipped and tucked and plumped and pumped by the time I reach pension age - and if I look a day over 29 I'll be demanding a refund.
In the meantime I'll continue to pour over the beauty pages, keep 'miracles makeovers' as my TV favorite and I won't feel guilty for using my magnifying mirror before bed to check for any 'changes'!!!
There was once a notion of growing old gracefully, seeing age as a depth of character, of lessons learned and experiences under your belt to pave the way for adventures of your future. Pah, its now about Youth Youth Youth..... and plenty of it!
The getting older part doesn't seem so bad... it's the ageing part that seems to have everyone in a state of turmoil these days! Everywhere you look there are adverts about delaying the process, lotions and potions to take years off and endless documentaries, reality shows and makeover programmes showing us all what we could (or should) look like. Now at 29 I know I have some time to go until this is a concern but naturally I do think about it, when will it happen, at what time will I look in the mirror and think 'when did I get old'???
I think maybe Botox will be the next thing for us, it'll be as regular as having your hair done, getting a manicure and having a bikini wax but do we really know the dangers and how many people really care in their pursuit for everlasting youth?
I, for one, am guilty of the hype. If a night cream promises to smooth and plump I'm at the front of the queue, elbows at the ready for any necessary pushing and shoving and applying it before I've even left the shop! I was the same with spot creams as a teenager and frankly I'm happier with the skin I have now than I did back then - to reiterate, we are NEVER HAPPY!
But growing old gracefully? I'm not sure that's for me! I'll be nipped and tucked and plumped and pumped by the time I reach pension age - and if I look a day over 29 I'll be demanding a refund.
In the meantime I'll continue to pour over the beauty pages, keep 'miracles makeovers' as my TV favorite and I won't feel guilty for using my magnifying mirror before bed to check for any 'changes'!!!
Friday, 5 September 2008
Dedicated to Mr and Mrs Wiles!
Weddings, weddings, everywhere.....
Rarely does a summer come and go without a wedding invitation landing on your door mat at some point. Sometimes they can fill you with a sense of foreboding, sometimes shock (they're ACTUALLY doing it at last?) and then there's your close friends, the ones you know were made to be Mr and Mrs and those weddings invitations, you can't wait to arrive!
July was the month, Stoke the venue. After months of anticipation, the big day was finally here and as we all packed into the car for our little road trip we were buzzing - two of our close mates were finally getting hitched! We were full of the usual questions, "what will the dress be like"?, "who'll cry first"?, "what time will we be eating"? - what? Excitement makes you hungry!
So as we arrive at the hotel we realise, thanks to Polly's slight mishap on timings (I blamed the traffic but really I wanted an extra half an hour in bed!), that we had about 20 minutes to get ready...in one little hotel room...with pink fizz that HAD to be drunk beforehand. As we hopped around the room applying make up, nail varnish, zipping up dresses that didn't seem to fit as well as the last time they were worn and making sure we had enough Kleenex to get through the day, it hit us that the day we'd been waiting for had finally arrived.
The church was full, both with people and emotions. The groom paced (alot) and we soon worked out that behind the door that he kept disappearing into, must be a toilet! As the bride walked down the aisle, you could hear the congregation take a gulp...to hold their tears. She looked INCREDIBLE! All brides glow and look stunning on their wedding day but the soon to be Mrs Wiles looked extra special after embarking on a diet that literally transformed her for the big day. Here she was, on the most special day of her life, unveiling all her hard work. I can honestly say I've never seen someone look so beautiful. I started crying the second I saw her...and didn't stop for most of the day. The emotions were incredible, pride, admiration, happiness to be part of their day and many more!
By the time we got to the reception we were all wishing we'd taken advantage of a big breakfast as our drinks kept being topped up with vodka and cranberry cocktails and Pimms (not together of course, that'd be really messy!). Getting drunk at a wedding is par for the course but we'd planned to stay classy for at least an hour...or two. We managed our usual....about 45 minutes!
After photos and introductions we sat down to devour our meal and as much wine as we could fill our glasses with! As we digested our desserts we settled down for the speeches. Now we'd spent a number of drunken occasions with the father of the bride so we knew we weren't going to be disappointed. I cried with laughter, I cried by the sentiment, I cried and cried and continued the routine until the final word... and then repeated the process during the grooms speech, it was full of character, humour, romance and all that we love about our Mr Wiles. I looked around at our group and saw them all wiping their eyes - "What? I have a touch of cold, I have something in my eye, I'm allergic to my eye make-up, blah blah blah...". And that was just the men! After a quick trip to the toilet and discovering we looked like we'd been slapped in the face... twice, we re-applied, re-adjusted, re-grouped and got ready to play!
As the party got into full swing, decorum and class were left at the tables (in the best possible manner!) and everyone partied....like really partied! People danced, drunk, destroyed the table and chair displays to create new outfits (us), talked to strangers (us again!)and accosted the brides parents into daft dancing, photo taking and general drunken behaviour (umm, yes you guessed it..us...again!). Mr and Mrs Wiles glowed and shone and personified what true love and companionship is all about (I may have cried a little more but by this stage was too drunk to confirm or deny it!).
We revelled in seeing the people important to us celebrate their special day, we revelled in the atmosphere they'd so carefully planned and we revelled in being together.
There is so much about weddings to share but each one is different and each couple choose theirs in the way they want to spend their day and should remain as amazing memories between those who shared it. One thing that never changes are the thoughts you take away with you. If you're single you look at you life and wonder if it'll ever be you, if you're in a couple you look to your partner and silently ask if this will be your 'one' and when your time will be and if your already married, I'm sure you reflect on your own big day. No matter though, your thoughts are with the newly weds - the new life they're about to embark on, and of course, the honeymoon!
So to our newly weds, I wish you all the happiness in the world, I wish you a wonderful and fulfilling marriage...and I know, this is one Mr and Mrs that will stand the test of the time.
So lets make a toast....to Mrs and Mrs Wiles!
Rarely does a summer come and go without a wedding invitation landing on your door mat at some point. Sometimes they can fill you with a sense of foreboding, sometimes shock (they're ACTUALLY doing it at last?) and then there's your close friends, the ones you know were made to be Mr and Mrs and those weddings invitations, you can't wait to arrive!
July was the month, Stoke the venue. After months of anticipation, the big day was finally here and as we all packed into the car for our little road trip we were buzzing - two of our close mates were finally getting hitched! We were full of the usual questions, "what will the dress be like"?, "who'll cry first"?, "what time will we be eating"? - what? Excitement makes you hungry!
So as we arrive at the hotel we realise, thanks to Polly's slight mishap on timings (I blamed the traffic but really I wanted an extra half an hour in bed!), that we had about 20 minutes to get ready...in one little hotel room...with pink fizz that HAD to be drunk beforehand. As we hopped around the room applying make up, nail varnish, zipping up dresses that didn't seem to fit as well as the last time they were worn and making sure we had enough Kleenex to get through the day, it hit us that the day we'd been waiting for had finally arrived.
The church was full, both with people and emotions. The groom paced (alot) and we soon worked out that behind the door that he kept disappearing into, must be a toilet! As the bride walked down the aisle, you could hear the congregation take a gulp...to hold their tears. She looked INCREDIBLE! All brides glow and look stunning on their wedding day but the soon to be Mrs Wiles looked extra special after embarking on a diet that literally transformed her for the big day. Here she was, on the most special day of her life, unveiling all her hard work. I can honestly say I've never seen someone look so beautiful. I started crying the second I saw her...and didn't stop for most of the day. The emotions were incredible, pride, admiration, happiness to be part of their day and many more!
By the time we got to the reception we were all wishing we'd taken advantage of a big breakfast as our drinks kept being topped up with vodka and cranberry cocktails and Pimms (not together of course, that'd be really messy!). Getting drunk at a wedding is par for the course but we'd planned to stay classy for at least an hour...or two. We managed our usual....about 45 minutes!
After photos and introductions we sat down to devour our meal and as much wine as we could fill our glasses with! As we digested our desserts we settled down for the speeches. Now we'd spent a number of drunken occasions with the father of the bride so we knew we weren't going to be disappointed. I cried with laughter, I cried by the sentiment, I cried and cried and continued the routine until the final word... and then repeated the process during the grooms speech, it was full of character, humour, romance and all that we love about our Mr Wiles. I looked around at our group and saw them all wiping their eyes - "What? I have a touch of cold, I have something in my eye, I'm allergic to my eye make-up, blah blah blah...". And that was just the men! After a quick trip to the toilet and discovering we looked like we'd been slapped in the face... twice, we re-applied, re-adjusted, re-grouped and got ready to play!
As the party got into full swing, decorum and class were left at the tables (in the best possible manner!) and everyone partied....like really partied! People danced, drunk, destroyed the table and chair displays to create new outfits (us), talked to strangers (us again!)and accosted the brides parents into daft dancing, photo taking and general drunken behaviour (umm, yes you guessed it..us...again!). Mr and Mrs Wiles glowed and shone and personified what true love and companionship is all about (I may have cried a little more but by this stage was too drunk to confirm or deny it!).
We revelled in seeing the people important to us celebrate their special day, we revelled in the atmosphere they'd so carefully planned and we revelled in being together.
There is so much about weddings to share but each one is different and each couple choose theirs in the way they want to spend their day and should remain as amazing memories between those who shared it. One thing that never changes are the thoughts you take away with you. If you're single you look at you life and wonder if it'll ever be you, if you're in a couple you look to your partner and silently ask if this will be your 'one' and when your time will be and if your already married, I'm sure you reflect on your own big day. No matter though, your thoughts are with the newly weds - the new life they're about to embark on, and of course, the honeymoon!
So to our newly weds, I wish you all the happiness in the world, I wish you a wonderful and fulfilling marriage...and I know, this is one Mr and Mrs that will stand the test of the time.
So lets make a toast....to Mrs and Mrs Wiles!
Friday, 25 July 2008
A new Polly palace?
Moving house, why do we even contemplate it? They say moving house is one of the most stressful things a person can do....after divorce... so why at 29 am I planning on buying again...for the 3rd time...on my own!?
I've spent all but 2 years of my 20's paying a mortgage and running a house. Whilst many of my friends were off on 18-30 holidays and spending their hard earned wages in Topshop, I was paying Council tax, leckie and water bills - oh and a mortgage. It sounds terribly grown up and independent but actually it was damn hard work - and a decision I've questioned many a time over the years.
I've always been independent, always had a need to 'fend for myself' and create my own security. I come from the most amazing family but both myself and my younger sister were always encouraged to stand on our own two feet and look after ourselves. I have an amazing relationship with my parents but that has developed from not living with them - with enjoying the time we choose to spend together, not the time we HAVE to spend together.
My first house was hard work, it needed a lot of work and TLC and at 22/23 I just wanted to go out and party but I had walls to plaster and paint, kitchens to tear out and home making to do. I loved and hated it in equal measures. I was there for as few years and whist I was proud of my little house, it just never truly felt like home. When some dirty scumbag broke in and stole some of my most valued possessions I decided it was time for Polly pad number 2. I bought a new apartment that didn't need a thing doing to it. I loved it. It was modern and trendy and I knew all my hard work had been worth it - plus it was on the top floor so no one was breaking in - unless Spiderman was in the area and in need of some quick cash through a little petty burglary!
Now, 3 and a bit years on I'm ready for house number 3. The daily commute has become too mush of a chore and in all honesty, this town has too many bad memories and is simply too small for me to fulfil my dreams in.
This time round doesn't hold the same excitement. I'm trying to sell a property in a very bad economical climate and I feel like I'm starting from scratch with the properties I've viewed already. I'm also plagued by the fact that I'm 29 (which is STILL VERY YOUNG!!!!!) but I'm doing it again, single handed.
Where is my prince charming? Where is the person to take away all this responsibility and make some decisions for me? Its a hard call. Its all great being independent but I can't help but sometimes feel I've failed by not having someone to share it with.
Now I know I shouldn't be looking at it so negatively, ultimately I make the call about where I live, I choose where everything goes, what colour scheme I'm having and the toilet seat is always in its rightful position - down! I can keep my 'shoe collection' photos up and I don't have to worry about making sure I have Sky Sports, a Playstation, WII, or whatever the 'ultimate toy' is right now. I don't have dirty boys filling my lounge with poker nights and debating over whether they'd 'do' Jennifer or Angelina and I know when I come home at night that my home will be exactly as I left it that morning...clean and tidy! I do, however, hope that maybe this house will be the last, that next time I'm putting up a For Sale sign up, someone will be by my side, reassuring me and sharing the tantrum and tears.
In the meantime I guess I look upon this time as I do everything else in my life - a new adventure.
So to celebrate the words of Aretha Franklin...sisters, are doing it for themselves!
I've spent all but 2 years of my 20's paying a mortgage and running a house. Whilst many of my friends were off on 18-30 holidays and spending their hard earned wages in Topshop, I was paying Council tax, leckie and water bills - oh and a mortgage. It sounds terribly grown up and independent but actually it was damn hard work - and a decision I've questioned many a time over the years.
I've always been independent, always had a need to 'fend for myself' and create my own security. I come from the most amazing family but both myself and my younger sister were always encouraged to stand on our own two feet and look after ourselves. I have an amazing relationship with my parents but that has developed from not living with them - with enjoying the time we choose to spend together, not the time we HAVE to spend together.
My first house was hard work, it needed a lot of work and TLC and at 22/23 I just wanted to go out and party but I had walls to plaster and paint, kitchens to tear out and home making to do. I loved and hated it in equal measures. I was there for as few years and whist I was proud of my little house, it just never truly felt like home. When some dirty scumbag broke in and stole some of my most valued possessions I decided it was time for Polly pad number 2. I bought a new apartment that didn't need a thing doing to it. I loved it. It was modern and trendy and I knew all my hard work had been worth it - plus it was on the top floor so no one was breaking in - unless Spiderman was in the area and in need of some quick cash through a little petty burglary!
Now, 3 and a bit years on I'm ready for house number 3. The daily commute has become too mush of a chore and in all honesty, this town has too many bad memories and is simply too small for me to fulfil my dreams in.
This time round doesn't hold the same excitement. I'm trying to sell a property in a very bad economical climate and I feel like I'm starting from scratch with the properties I've viewed already. I'm also plagued by the fact that I'm 29 (which is STILL VERY YOUNG!!!!!) but I'm doing it again, single handed.
Where is my prince charming? Where is the person to take away all this responsibility and make some decisions for me? Its a hard call. Its all great being independent but I can't help but sometimes feel I've failed by not having someone to share it with.
Now I know I shouldn't be looking at it so negatively, ultimately I make the call about where I live, I choose where everything goes, what colour scheme I'm having and the toilet seat is always in its rightful position - down! I can keep my 'shoe collection' photos up and I don't have to worry about making sure I have Sky Sports, a Playstation, WII, or whatever the 'ultimate toy' is right now. I don't have dirty boys filling my lounge with poker nights and debating over whether they'd 'do' Jennifer or Angelina and I know when I come home at night that my home will be exactly as I left it that morning...clean and tidy! I do, however, hope that maybe this house will be the last, that next time I'm putting up a For Sale sign up, someone will be by my side, reassuring me and sharing the tantrum and tears.
In the meantime I guess I look upon this time as I do everything else in my life - a new adventure.
So to celebrate the words of Aretha Franklin...sisters, are doing it for themselves!
Friday, 2 May 2008
The curse of the 'school night' hangover!
I do love a good night out. I've calmed down a bit this year with the frequency of them (yes Mr Bank Manager, I am being good!)but ultimately if there's a night out I'll be there!
Now I'm usually very good in the week. I love my job and I'm always very busy so despite having the odd 'off day' I try to ensure I'm firing on all cylinders. The weekend is when I let my hair down. I don't care how late I go to bed or whether I've had my daily fruit and veg intake, I never set an alarm and if I sleep till noon, big deal! Its not uncommon for me to stay in my PJs till late afternoon and if I want to watch hours of crap on the telly, so be it. Its the weekend and I'll do as I please, when I please!
Last night however I thought 'what the hell', I'm joining the girls for Vodka Thursday and I'm having cocktails....lots of cocktails.
Eight cocktails later and I was feeling a little worse for wear. Sometime into the evening I decided to bypass having actual food and opted for the cocktails containing fruit - as if somehow I'd get all the nutritional value I needed from a vodka soaked strawberry and a slice of lime (I call it a liquid diet)! The night progressed to shots and then it all gets hazy! The last thing I remember was 'trying to dance' and then practically rolling down the hill home (it seemed easier than walking!). Sadly at the bottom of the hill was a bush...that I landed in.
I woke up the next morning, in the previous nights clothes, with twigs in my hair and an open hip wound that was nothing short of nasty! I managed to walk to work - its amazing how much alcohol deludes you into thinking a 30 minutes brisk walk is actually just a 10 minute stroll round the corner.
Walking into work I was suddenly faced with a grim reality.....I'm still drunk...and have 9 hours of responsible work to do. Oh god! Lucozade didn't help, neither did the bacon roll and litre of water - and walking into that door frame really didn't make things easier! Somehow I managed to make it through the day and as the hangover hit, so did the pain from my tumble!
Now as lessons go, this was a pretty hard one. My hip now has a lovely 'twig' shaped scar but alcohol is now purely kept sacred for the weekend (minus the odd glass of wine rather than the whole bottle!). The things I could do when I was in my early twenties are becoming a thing of the past, but I'm not too bitter about it...really. So I can't have mid-week 'benders' like I used to, so what? I didn't have a job in my early twenties that I enjoyed getting up for in the morning, my job was purely the way to fund my nights out but after a while that novelty does wear off.
So instead I've struck a balance. My drunken fun nights out are kept for the weekend rather than 'school nights' but I'm a grown up - so if I want to stay in bed all day on Sunday watching trashing TV with a hangover then big deal..... I have my own home and no one to answer to...so nerrrrr!
Ooh, its Friday night, what am I doing writing a blog, I'm off for some wine. The whole bottle in fact!
Now I'm usually very good in the week. I love my job and I'm always very busy so despite having the odd 'off day' I try to ensure I'm firing on all cylinders. The weekend is when I let my hair down. I don't care how late I go to bed or whether I've had my daily fruit and veg intake, I never set an alarm and if I sleep till noon, big deal! Its not uncommon for me to stay in my PJs till late afternoon and if I want to watch hours of crap on the telly, so be it. Its the weekend and I'll do as I please, when I please!
Last night however I thought 'what the hell', I'm joining the girls for Vodka Thursday and I'm having cocktails....lots of cocktails.
Eight cocktails later and I was feeling a little worse for wear. Sometime into the evening I decided to bypass having actual food and opted for the cocktails containing fruit - as if somehow I'd get all the nutritional value I needed from a vodka soaked strawberry and a slice of lime (I call it a liquid diet)! The night progressed to shots and then it all gets hazy! The last thing I remember was 'trying to dance' and then practically rolling down the hill home (it seemed easier than walking!). Sadly at the bottom of the hill was a bush...that I landed in.
I woke up the next morning, in the previous nights clothes, with twigs in my hair and an open hip wound that was nothing short of nasty! I managed to walk to work - its amazing how much alcohol deludes you into thinking a 30 minutes brisk walk is actually just a 10 minute stroll round the corner.
Walking into work I was suddenly faced with a grim reality.....I'm still drunk...and have 9 hours of responsible work to do. Oh god! Lucozade didn't help, neither did the bacon roll and litre of water - and walking into that door frame really didn't make things easier! Somehow I managed to make it through the day and as the hangover hit, so did the pain from my tumble!
Now as lessons go, this was a pretty hard one. My hip now has a lovely 'twig' shaped scar but alcohol is now purely kept sacred for the weekend (minus the odd glass of wine rather than the whole bottle!). The things I could do when I was in my early twenties are becoming a thing of the past, but I'm not too bitter about it...really. So I can't have mid-week 'benders' like I used to, so what? I didn't have a job in my early twenties that I enjoyed getting up for in the morning, my job was purely the way to fund my nights out but after a while that novelty does wear off.
So instead I've struck a balance. My drunken fun nights out are kept for the weekend rather than 'school nights' but I'm a grown up - so if I want to stay in bed all day on Sunday watching trashing TV with a hangover then big deal..... I have my own home and no one to answer to...so nerrrrr!
Ooh, its Friday night, what am I doing writing a blog, I'm off for some wine. The whole bottle in fact!
Wednesday, 16 April 2008
Its just a number....really!!!
So, it dawned on me, I'm 30 next year! That means at my next birthday in a few months I'll be celebrating my last year as a 'twenty something'....eek!
Now its never bothered me before, I don't feel anywhere near my age and since I still get asked for ID buying wine I think I'm weathering fairly well! My friends are all a mix of ages from early twenties (lucky swines!) to 40 somethings and age is simply a number to us all but turning 30 is a milestone and I'm trying to figure out just how to approach it when it finally arrives.
When I think back, I wonder if there's an age I'd have liked to stay at. My late teens and early twenties were full of change - leaving home for the first time to go to University, making new friends and learning how to fend for myself, my first 'serious' boyfriend and my first 'serious' heartbreak! Discovering the big world out there can be daunting but I loved every minute, the parties, the nights out, the debauchery and the experimentation, the freedom and the lack of responsibility, learning how to meet dissertation deadlines and spend your student loans and most importantly learning about the differences in people. I opened both arms and wrapped them around all the opportunities that came my way and I started, for the first time, to see who I was, what made me tick and what I wanted to achieve.
Leaving University was a shock to the system, I went through a period of mourning and missed the life I'd had - always having one of your mates in a room down the corridor, like minded conversations with people who had the same goals, the same aspirations, a party only being a phone call away and the freedom to be who you wanted to be - and a large overdraft facility to fund it all! Moving home was a shock to the system - having to answer to someone again - what time you'd be home, why you didn't come home, whether you wanted some tea making - if you were eating properly! Getting a job didn't feel like success, it felt too adult and conforming, no more lying in bed watching Richard and Judy whilst 'pretending' to do course work, I had to go out there and earn my crust!
After a short time the ultimate 'nesting' stage occurred - buying my first property! I was 22 and unprepared. It was what I wanted but suddenly having to curb nights out to pay for bills was a huge shock to the system. I've been on the ladder ever since and I'm now looking at buying and selling for the third time but still I don't feel any older than I did as a 22 year old doing it for the first time.
OK so I'm in a successful job, I earn a good wage but I've no more money now than I did then, as my wage increases so do my spending habits and the harder you work, the harder you want to play!
So as you hit certain age do you really have to start acting it? A friend of mine recently complained that she was 'too old' to wear a certain style of clothes - she's 31 and constantly mistaken for a someone about 8 years younger yet the constraints that society place on people make you question what's acceptable.
Maybe its harder when you're single? I love being single and always have. I love that I don't have anyone else to think about and that I can live my life as I please but I don't want to grow old alone. I find the men I attract are much younger than me, and although I'm not adverse to the 'younger man' I'm not sure its something I want to pursue.
So I've decided not to conform. I'm going to continue my mad nights out, I'm going to continue wearing little clothes and I'm going to continue carrying my ID with me to the off license. I'm not going to stop doing the things I enjoy because my peers are settled into family life, I'm going to continue to open my arms to the opportunities that pass my way. I won't compare what I have to those around me and I won't let my choice of lifestyle be criticised or compromised. I'll dance on stages in nightclubs and swig from my bottle of beer, I'll stay out till 5am and not worry about the next morning, I'll spend too much and think about those raining days when they happen. Most importantly I'll stay happy and true to myself - and if anyone doesn't like it....tough.....I'm an adult, you can't tell me off!!!
Now its never bothered me before, I don't feel anywhere near my age and since I still get asked for ID buying wine I think I'm weathering fairly well! My friends are all a mix of ages from early twenties (lucky swines!) to 40 somethings and age is simply a number to us all but turning 30 is a milestone and I'm trying to figure out just how to approach it when it finally arrives.
When I think back, I wonder if there's an age I'd have liked to stay at. My late teens and early twenties were full of change - leaving home for the first time to go to University, making new friends and learning how to fend for myself, my first 'serious' boyfriend and my first 'serious' heartbreak! Discovering the big world out there can be daunting but I loved every minute, the parties, the nights out, the debauchery and the experimentation, the freedom and the lack of responsibility, learning how to meet dissertation deadlines and spend your student loans and most importantly learning about the differences in people. I opened both arms and wrapped them around all the opportunities that came my way and I started, for the first time, to see who I was, what made me tick and what I wanted to achieve.
Leaving University was a shock to the system, I went through a period of mourning and missed the life I'd had - always having one of your mates in a room down the corridor, like minded conversations with people who had the same goals, the same aspirations, a party only being a phone call away and the freedom to be who you wanted to be - and a large overdraft facility to fund it all! Moving home was a shock to the system - having to answer to someone again - what time you'd be home, why you didn't come home, whether you wanted some tea making - if you were eating properly! Getting a job didn't feel like success, it felt too adult and conforming, no more lying in bed watching Richard and Judy whilst 'pretending' to do course work, I had to go out there and earn my crust!
After a short time the ultimate 'nesting' stage occurred - buying my first property! I was 22 and unprepared. It was what I wanted but suddenly having to curb nights out to pay for bills was a huge shock to the system. I've been on the ladder ever since and I'm now looking at buying and selling for the third time but still I don't feel any older than I did as a 22 year old doing it for the first time.
OK so I'm in a successful job, I earn a good wage but I've no more money now than I did then, as my wage increases so do my spending habits and the harder you work, the harder you want to play!
So as you hit certain age do you really have to start acting it? A friend of mine recently complained that she was 'too old' to wear a certain style of clothes - she's 31 and constantly mistaken for a someone about 8 years younger yet the constraints that society place on people make you question what's acceptable.
Maybe its harder when you're single? I love being single and always have. I love that I don't have anyone else to think about and that I can live my life as I please but I don't want to grow old alone. I find the men I attract are much younger than me, and although I'm not adverse to the 'younger man' I'm not sure its something I want to pursue.
So I've decided not to conform. I'm going to continue my mad nights out, I'm going to continue wearing little clothes and I'm going to continue carrying my ID with me to the off license. I'm not going to stop doing the things I enjoy because my peers are settled into family life, I'm going to continue to open my arms to the opportunities that pass my way. I won't compare what I have to those around me and I won't let my choice of lifestyle be criticised or compromised. I'll dance on stages in nightclubs and swig from my bottle of beer, I'll stay out till 5am and not worry about the next morning, I'll spend too much and think about those raining days when they happen. Most importantly I'll stay happy and true to myself - and if anyone doesn't like it....tough.....I'm an adult, you can't tell me off!!!
Wednesday, 6 February 2008
The soap opera...run titles
I sometimes think my life would fit in well in a soap opera - I can see myself propping up the bar in The Rovers or the Queen Vic telling all and sundry about my latest drama!
Now I don't chase drama but I think when you're single it just hunts you down and puts its feet up in your life until a more 'settled' time comes along! Sometimes I can sit and laugh about it, other times I can't help but hold a little self pity party for myself and wonder when it'll all end - not just for me but for my friends too - who incidentally need a medal for some of the things they've supported me through recently.
I have a good life, I know that - I have a great job, a lovely home, a cool car and the best friends a girl can be lucky enough to have. I have a brilliant relationship with my parents, a sister who is my best friend and my social life is always packed but I do seem to be dealt some punches at times and my trust in human nature gets tested more than I'd like!
I'm sure when myself and my girls are sat in our Spanish holiday resort in years to come, sunning our botox smooth complexions despite being past pension age and watching the young hotties walk by whilst the hubbies are out playing golf/on the yacht/earning money that we can spend (delete as appropriate) we'll be laughing about the times we often found so hard. "It was all part of growing up" we'll say. "All part of life's rich tapestry, a learning curve" we'll scoff before ordering a cocktail we're too old to drink and wolf whistling at the waiter!
Being single is great fun, you have no agenda, no one else to think about and you can plan whatever you like, when you like. BUT and it can be a big but, it can be lonely too. There's always a past relationship you're bruised from and usually someone who appears in your thoughts more than you'd like. You wonder where the 'good men' are and sometimes question whether they actually exist at all - I'm still skeptical!
Anyone who has ever read my blog before will know, most of the time I write about dates - or more specifically, bad dates! I hate dates anyway, I turn them down on a regular basis and when I do agree to them I'm usually either drunk or put on the spot and can't engage my brain quick enough to come up with a witty answer that equates to 'thanks but no thanks'!
I don't know where my issue lies. I get very panicky hours before and talk myself out of going at least 100 times before I go. I have tried every excuse in the past not to go and am known to let people down at the last hour - my fish just died (I don't have fish), I've double booked (my diary is always with me so practically impossible), I have nothing to wear (I'm female so again, impossible), I'm ill (OK that one does work but I must be the sickest person in the midlands!). In a nutshell I hate dates, in 10 years I have probably looked forward to maybe four - and I've been on A LOT of dates!
Usually I tell myself I won't like the poor guy so invariably I don't. I've become very good at pretending to have a good time and finding their stories about their camping holidays when they were 12 riveting. I grin and bite my tongue (hard) when they touch my knee or pretend to sweep away a piece of hair that I know isn't there. I resist the temptation to reach my arms in front of me and shout "IF YOUR THIS CLOSE...YOUR TOO CLOSE"!!! And then when I leave I find myself saying the dreaded three words................"I'll call you". I'll never learn!
Aside from my own date disasters there's the tales from my friends - he was too keen, he wasn't keen enough, he had bad shoes or ordered a strawberry cocktail instead of a beer! I sometimes wonder if these poor men can ever win. But I like to think that me and my friends are simply looking for something right - not 'right for now'. We don't treat anyone badly, we always act ourselves and we're ladies that, hopefully, men would be proud to take home to their mums?!
So, still I'm single, still I'm hopeful, still I'm hung up over someone I can't have and still I'm turning down men I can. But still life seems bright - and still - there's always red wine and a giggle with the loves of my lives - STILL my friends!
Now I don't chase drama but I think when you're single it just hunts you down and puts its feet up in your life until a more 'settled' time comes along! Sometimes I can sit and laugh about it, other times I can't help but hold a little self pity party for myself and wonder when it'll all end - not just for me but for my friends too - who incidentally need a medal for some of the things they've supported me through recently.
I have a good life, I know that - I have a great job, a lovely home, a cool car and the best friends a girl can be lucky enough to have. I have a brilliant relationship with my parents, a sister who is my best friend and my social life is always packed but I do seem to be dealt some punches at times and my trust in human nature gets tested more than I'd like!
I'm sure when myself and my girls are sat in our Spanish holiday resort in years to come, sunning our botox smooth complexions despite being past pension age and watching the young hotties walk by whilst the hubbies are out playing golf/on the yacht/earning money that we can spend (delete as appropriate) we'll be laughing about the times we often found so hard. "It was all part of growing up" we'll say. "All part of life's rich tapestry, a learning curve" we'll scoff before ordering a cocktail we're too old to drink and wolf whistling at the waiter!
Being single is great fun, you have no agenda, no one else to think about and you can plan whatever you like, when you like. BUT and it can be a big but, it can be lonely too. There's always a past relationship you're bruised from and usually someone who appears in your thoughts more than you'd like. You wonder where the 'good men' are and sometimes question whether they actually exist at all - I'm still skeptical!
Anyone who has ever read my blog before will know, most of the time I write about dates - or more specifically, bad dates! I hate dates anyway, I turn them down on a regular basis and when I do agree to them I'm usually either drunk or put on the spot and can't engage my brain quick enough to come up with a witty answer that equates to 'thanks but no thanks'!
I don't know where my issue lies. I get very panicky hours before and talk myself out of going at least 100 times before I go. I have tried every excuse in the past not to go and am known to let people down at the last hour - my fish just died (I don't have fish), I've double booked (my diary is always with me so practically impossible), I have nothing to wear (I'm female so again, impossible), I'm ill (OK that one does work but I must be the sickest person in the midlands!). In a nutshell I hate dates, in 10 years I have probably looked forward to maybe four - and I've been on A LOT of dates!
Usually I tell myself I won't like the poor guy so invariably I don't. I've become very good at pretending to have a good time and finding their stories about their camping holidays when they were 12 riveting. I grin and bite my tongue (hard) when they touch my knee or pretend to sweep away a piece of hair that I know isn't there. I resist the temptation to reach my arms in front of me and shout "IF YOUR THIS CLOSE...YOUR TOO CLOSE"!!! And then when I leave I find myself saying the dreaded three words................"I'll call you". I'll never learn!
Aside from my own date disasters there's the tales from my friends - he was too keen, he wasn't keen enough, he had bad shoes or ordered a strawberry cocktail instead of a beer! I sometimes wonder if these poor men can ever win. But I like to think that me and my friends are simply looking for something right - not 'right for now'. We don't treat anyone badly, we always act ourselves and we're ladies that, hopefully, men would be proud to take home to their mums?!
So, still I'm single, still I'm hopeful, still I'm hung up over someone I can't have and still I'm turning down men I can. But still life seems bright - and still - there's always red wine and a giggle with the loves of my lives - STILL my friends!
Friday, 25 January 2008
The perils of Facebook!
I love Facebook - well, maybe 'love' is a strong word but I can truthfully say it takes up a lot of my time!
Now I've recently been considering doing a Facebook Detox or shock horror, deleting it altogether but I somehow can't bring myself to just yet. Facebook has put me back in touch with old school friends and university friends and since I'm a big fan of other peoples business, I get to be nosey whenever I like!
Now the one thing that, to me, has spoiled the whole charm of Facebook are the endless applications. Some of them are fun, some are totally mad and quite frankly some are downright pathetic. I draw my attention for this rant to the latter - the pathetic.
Hot or Not? Would you DO me? Would you date me? Rate Me, Would you kiss me, How good am I in bed?, What sort of kisser am I................this list goes on and on and on.
Now some are funny but lets face it, you see all those applications on one persons page and you think one thing - arrogant bastard! Has Facebook suddenly become a dating service? Is it used purely to feed the egos of those who, quite frankly have more ego than they deserve anyway?
Now I admit I have succumbed to a few of these applications just to see what they're about and then been so ashamed and mortified that I've deleted them instantly. Then there are the ones that you never signed up to but seem to have anyway - what the hell is 'Zoosk' and why do people keep saying 'wink wink' to me? Is this the way people date these days? If so I'm abstaining until the traditional way comes back into fashion!!!
And what is 'Owned'? Another application I seem to have acquired and don't know how to get rid of! Strangers keep bidding on me - people I don't even know - one of them is female so if she's reading this blog - sorry love, your barking up the wrong tree!!!
So I'll continue to click 'ignore' and 'reject' on these applications and will keep deleting the regular spam that comes through on a daily basis, most of which could be passed off as porn. I think however it will take some time until I stop going up to people and asking "are you ...........? I'm sure I've seen you on ............'s facebook page"!!!!!
Now I've recently been considering doing a Facebook Detox or shock horror, deleting it altogether but I somehow can't bring myself to just yet. Facebook has put me back in touch with old school friends and university friends and since I'm a big fan of other peoples business, I get to be nosey whenever I like!
Now the one thing that, to me, has spoiled the whole charm of Facebook are the endless applications. Some of them are fun, some are totally mad and quite frankly some are downright pathetic. I draw my attention for this rant to the latter - the pathetic.
Hot or Not? Would you DO me? Would you date me? Rate Me, Would you kiss me, How good am I in bed?, What sort of kisser am I................this list goes on and on and on.
Now some are funny but lets face it, you see all those applications on one persons page and you think one thing - arrogant bastard! Has Facebook suddenly become a dating service? Is it used purely to feed the egos of those who, quite frankly have more ego than they deserve anyway?
Now I admit I have succumbed to a few of these applications just to see what they're about and then been so ashamed and mortified that I've deleted them instantly. Then there are the ones that you never signed up to but seem to have anyway - what the hell is 'Zoosk' and why do people keep saying 'wink wink' to me? Is this the way people date these days? If so I'm abstaining until the traditional way comes back into fashion!!!
And what is 'Owned'? Another application I seem to have acquired and don't know how to get rid of! Strangers keep bidding on me - people I don't even know - one of them is female so if she's reading this blog - sorry love, your barking up the wrong tree!!!
So I'll continue to click 'ignore' and 'reject' on these applications and will keep deleting the regular spam that comes through on a daily basis, most of which could be passed off as porn. I think however it will take some time until I stop going up to people and asking "are you ...........? I'm sure I've seen you on ............'s facebook page"!!!!!
The world gone crazy?
The world of Celebrity is a strange concept to understand isn't it?!
We enjoy witnessing the misfortunes of others and where I do enjoy seeing the fashion faux pas's of the rich and famous from time to time, I can't agree with the incessant need to know who is in rehab, who's sleeping with who or who's had botox and a boob job!
Unless you've been living on the moon for the past year, you would know that the one time 'Princess of Pop', the American Dream that is Britney Spears has been suffering a very public breakdown that started with the shaving of her head to the more recent loss of custody for her two children in a court battle with her ex husband.
Is this a true sign of what young fame and too much money can do? We all knew that Ms Spears was never an angel despite the image they so desperately tried to depict for so many years, but who would have known that this young women who every woman wanted to be like and every man, gay or straight, idolised, would turn out to be so troubled. It seems no one is able to help this fallen star and ironically it goes to show that money can't buy you happiness or security - and it sure as hell can't buy you faithful friends and family. It makes you wonder how much of her troubles are down to living such a public life and being hounded by the press from sunrise to sunset - even nipping to the chemist to buy her tampax becomes a public affair - quite frankly who cares anyway?
We've been watching the details of Princess Dianas death unfold before us for the last 10 years - once again the press being in the forefront when it come to laying the blame. How many more celebrities or public figures are going to go this way?
This week the untimely death of Heath Ledger was announced to the world. Heath was just 28 and had a wonderful future ahead of him. Although known to have an anxious personality at times, this young man had a two year old daughter and everything to live for. We're yet to know how he died but of course the rumour mill goes into overdrive with talk of an overdose and a lengthy drug battle. These people may be on our cinema screens and in the magazines but that does not give anyone the right to judge another persons life. Heath has a family that will be grieving right now and the press are tearing his life apart to find answers - or 'fodder' that will sell on the news stands. There were crowds of people stood outside his apartment waiting for his body to be removed - is that the most extreme sense of morbidity possible? It takes the term 'rubber knecking' to the next stage.
The latest is that a church group are going to protest at his funeral after Heaths portrayal of a gay character in the award winning film Brokeback Mountain. Has the world gone crazy? Are these people for real?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22813570/
When is the law going to change to prevent this hounding? I agree that when you choose to live a 'celebrity' lifestyle you do become targets for the media. I agree that they have certain responsibilities to the impressionable and have opportunities to promote great causes that should be monopolised - they are however human and should be allowed to make mistakes like everyone else - and not in the public glare!
So let Amy do rehab in peace, leave Lily to grieve her recent loss, let the reality stars have their moments of fame but don't encourage their 'knicker flashing', who cares who Kate Moss is currently seeing and big deal if Girls Aloud have all lost 3lbs each!
Give me proper news, give me good news - just give me news!
We enjoy witnessing the misfortunes of others and where I do enjoy seeing the fashion faux pas's of the rich and famous from time to time, I can't agree with the incessant need to know who is in rehab, who's sleeping with who or who's had botox and a boob job!
Unless you've been living on the moon for the past year, you would know that the one time 'Princess of Pop', the American Dream that is Britney Spears has been suffering a very public breakdown that started with the shaving of her head to the more recent loss of custody for her two children in a court battle with her ex husband.
Is this a true sign of what young fame and too much money can do? We all knew that Ms Spears was never an angel despite the image they so desperately tried to depict for so many years, but who would have known that this young women who every woman wanted to be like and every man, gay or straight, idolised, would turn out to be so troubled. It seems no one is able to help this fallen star and ironically it goes to show that money can't buy you happiness or security - and it sure as hell can't buy you faithful friends and family. It makes you wonder how much of her troubles are down to living such a public life and being hounded by the press from sunrise to sunset - even nipping to the chemist to buy her tampax becomes a public affair - quite frankly who cares anyway?
We've been watching the details of Princess Dianas death unfold before us for the last 10 years - once again the press being in the forefront when it come to laying the blame. How many more celebrities or public figures are going to go this way?
This week the untimely death of Heath Ledger was announced to the world. Heath was just 28 and had a wonderful future ahead of him. Although known to have an anxious personality at times, this young man had a two year old daughter and everything to live for. We're yet to know how he died but of course the rumour mill goes into overdrive with talk of an overdose and a lengthy drug battle. These people may be on our cinema screens and in the magazines but that does not give anyone the right to judge another persons life. Heath has a family that will be grieving right now and the press are tearing his life apart to find answers - or 'fodder' that will sell on the news stands. There were crowds of people stood outside his apartment waiting for his body to be removed - is that the most extreme sense of morbidity possible? It takes the term 'rubber knecking' to the next stage.
The latest is that a church group are going to protest at his funeral after Heaths portrayal of a gay character in the award winning film Brokeback Mountain. Has the world gone crazy? Are these people for real?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22813570/
When is the law going to change to prevent this hounding? I agree that when you choose to live a 'celebrity' lifestyle you do become targets for the media. I agree that they have certain responsibilities to the impressionable and have opportunities to promote great causes that should be monopolised - they are however human and should be allowed to make mistakes like everyone else - and not in the public glare!
So let Amy do rehab in peace, leave Lily to grieve her recent loss, let the reality stars have their moments of fame but don't encourage their 'knicker flashing', who cares who Kate Moss is currently seeing and big deal if Girls Aloud have all lost 3lbs each!
Give me proper news, give me good news - just give me news!
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