I've spent all but 2 years of my 20's paying a mortgage and running a house. Whilst many of my friends were off on 18-30 holidays and spending their hard earned wages in Topshop, I was paying Council tax, leckie and water bills - oh and a mortgage. It sounds terribly grown up and independent but actually it was damn hard work - and a decision I've questioned many a time over the years.
I've always been independent, always had a need to 'fend for myself' and create my own security. I come from the most amazing family but both myself and my younger sister were always encouraged to stand on our own two feet and look after ourselves. I have an amazing relationship with my parents but that has developed from not living with them - with enjoying the time we choose to spend together, not the time we HAVE to spend together.
My first house was hard work, it needed a lot of work and TLC and at 22/23 I just wanted to go out and party but I had walls to plaster and paint, kitchens to tear out and home making to do. I loved and hated it in equal measures. I was there for as few years and whist I was proud of my little house, it just never truly felt like home. When some dirty scumbag broke in and stole some of my most valued possessions I decided it was time for Polly pad number 2. I bought a new apartment that didn't need a thing doing to it. I loved it. It was modern and trendy and I knew all my hard work had been worth it - plus it was on the top floor so no one was breaking in - unless Spiderman was in the area and in need of some quick cash through a little petty burglary!
Now, 3 and a bit years on I'm ready for house number 3. The daily commute has become too mush of a chore and in all honesty, this town has too many bad memories and is simply too small for me to fulfil my dreams in.
This time round doesn't hold the same excitement. I'm trying to sell a property in a very bad economical climate and I feel like I'm starting from scratch with the properties I've viewed already. I'm also plagued by the fact that I'm 29 (which is STILL VERY YOUNG!!!!!) but I'm doing it again, single handed.
Where is my prince charming? Where is the person to take away all this responsibility and make some decisions for me? Its a hard call. Its all great being independent but I can't help but sometimes feel I've failed by not having someone to share it with.
Now I know I shouldn't be looking at it so negatively, ultimately I make the call about where I live, I choose where everything goes, what colour scheme I'm having and the toilet seat is always in its rightful position - down! I can keep my 'shoe collection' photos up and I don't have to worry about making sure I have Sky Sports, a Playstation, WII, or whatever the 'ultimate toy' is right now. I don't have dirty boys filling my lounge with poker nights and debating over whether they'd 'do' Jennifer or Angelina and I know when I come home at night that my home will be exactly as I left it that morning...clean and tidy! I do, however, hope that maybe this house will be the last, that next time I'm putting up a For Sale sign up, someone will be by my side, reassuring me and sharing the tantrum and tears.
In the meantime I guess I look upon this time as I do everything else in my life - a new adventure.
So to celebrate the words of Aretha Franklin...sisters, are doing it for themselves!
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