Saturday night we went out to celebrate a mates birthday, we knew it'd be a drunken affair....it always is when us lot get together! So we start the night in a classy bar, sober and respectable! The next thing, my mate pulls out a miniature bottle of whiskey from her handbag and pours it into her (already large) glass of whiskey! Her bag had seemed heavy - and it explains the clunking noise that was coming from her on the way to the bar!
"Well it costs a bloody arm and a leg in here....I thought I'd bring my own"
After deciding that some cheap drinks were in order we battled over to the cheapest bar in town.... so we stuck to the carpet a bit and there was vomit by the fruit machine...who cares, with triples for £3 its a result!!!!
So the alcohol was flowing and the conversations and laughter got louder and louder, the birthday boys eyes were getting glassy and the sugar from the alcohol shots were giving everyone an E number frenzy!!! The night was in full swing!
So we moved on to a cocktail bar - now I make that sound posh but really all we wanted was cheap Sex on the Beach (Ooeer!) and some Tequila Sunrise so where better than Cucamara...if you want to get drunk, that's your place! We'd only been in there 5 minutes when one of our party threw up all over the floor! As he turned to us to finish his drink and wipe his mouth some poor unsuspecting bloke skidded in the whole lot....we shouldn't laugh, but oh we did!!!! I knew I shouldn't have bought him that last WKD!
Now anyone that's been on a night out with us nutty lot will know that as far as conversations go on our nights out, nothing is out of bounds, so when one of the ladies started talking about transvestite porn I think a few of the less regulars got confused and a little disgusted....poor girl suddenly found herself stood alone with people whispering and pointing in her direction. They failed to hear the beginning of the conversation, she was merely talking about an email someone had one sent her that got her in heaps of trouble- but bless, she was branded as a weird sex fiend for the rest of the evening! And don't get me started on the cleavage obsession that then started!
So as the night went on it became clear that birthday boy was VERY DRUNK - he gave it away by announcing every 3 minutes that;
"I'm veeeeerry drrrrunk, have I told you all I love you and that I'm veeeerry drruuunnk"
So what to do but go for a 2am curry!
As 10 of us piled into the local curry house you could see the faces of the waiters fall - 'bloody hell, I'll never get home now with this lot'. Birthday boy ordered 2 beers (both for himself - one which we had to confiscate!) and everyone concentrated hard on the menus - probably because the alcohol had made our eye sights a little hazy and everything appeared to be printed in double and italics!
We attacked the food like it was our last meal but low and behold the birthday boy ended up with his head in his plate fast asleep - but would occasionally wake up to say;
"waiter can I have another beer.....I'm veerrryyy drrruuuunnk"!!!
So we ordered taxis and eventually, to the sigh of relief by the waiters, made our way home.
As we said our goodbyes we asked the birthday boy, who was now being held up by his exasperated fiancee (bless ya honey), if he'd had a good night
"Oh yes.....
..........................but i'm veeeerrrrryyyyy druuunnnkk"!!!!!!!!!!!!
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