Its just a number....really!!!

So, it dawned on me, I'm 30 next year! That means at my next birthday in a few months I'll be celebrating my last year as a 'twenty something'....eek!

Now its never bothered me before, I don't feel anywhere near my age and since I still get asked for ID buying wine I think I'm weathering fairly well! My friends are all a mix of ages from early twenties (lucky swines!) to 40 somethings and age is simply a number to us all but turning 30 is a milestone and I'm trying to figure out just how to approach it when it finally arrives.

When I think back, I wonder if there's an age I'd have liked to stay at. My late teens and early twenties were full of change - leaving home for the first time to go to University, making new friends and learning how to fend for myself, my first 'serious' boyfriend and my first 'serious' heartbreak! Discovering the big world out there can be daunting but I loved every minute, the parties, the nights out, the debauchery and the experimentation, the freedom and the lack of responsibility, learning how to meet dissertation deadlines and spend your student loans and most importantly learning about the differences in people. I opened both arms and wrapped them around all the opportunities that came my way and I started, for the first time, to see who I was, what made me tick and what I wanted to achieve.

Leaving University was a shock to the system, I went through a period of mourning and missed the life I'd had - always having one of your mates in a room down the corridor, like minded conversations with people who had the same goals, the same aspirations, a party only being a phone call away and the freedom to be who you wanted to be - and a large overdraft facility to fund it all! Moving home was a shock to the system - having to answer to someone again - what time you'd be home, why you didn't come home, whether you wanted some tea making - if you were eating properly! Getting a job didn't feel like success, it felt too adult and conforming, no more lying in bed watching Richard and Judy whilst 'pretending' to do course work, I had to go out there and earn my crust!

After a short time the ultimate 'nesting' stage occurred - buying my first property! I was 22 and unprepared. It was what I wanted but suddenly having to curb nights out to pay for bills was a huge shock to the system. I've been on the ladder ever since and I'm now looking at buying and selling for the third time but still I don't feel any older than I did as a 22 year old doing it for the first time.

OK so I'm in a successful job, I earn a good wage but I've no more money now than I did then, as my wage increases so do my spending habits and the harder you work, the harder you want to play!

So as you hit certain age do you really have to start acting it? A friend of mine recently complained that she was 'too old' to wear a certain style of clothes - she's 31 and constantly mistaken for a someone about 8 years younger yet the constraints that society place on people make you question what's acceptable.

Maybe its harder when you're single? I love being single and always have. I love that I don't have anyone else to think about and that I can live my life as I please but I don't want to grow old alone. I find the men I attract are much younger than me, and although I'm not adverse to the 'younger man' I'm not sure its something I want to pursue.

So I've decided not to conform. I'm going to continue my mad nights out, I'm going to continue wearing little clothes and I'm going to continue carrying my ID with me to the off license. I'm not going to stop doing the things I enjoy because my peers are settled into family life, I'm going to continue to open my arms to the opportunities that pass my way. I won't compare what I have to those around me and I won't let my choice of lifestyle be criticised or compromised. I'll dance on stages in nightclubs and swig from my bottle of beer, I'll stay out till 5am and not worry about the next morning, I'll spend too much and think about those raining days when they happen. Most importantly I'll stay happy and true to myself - and if anyone doesn't like it....tough.....I'm an adult, you can't tell me off!!!