So this year was no different. I celebrated mine like it was an Indian wedding (minus the elephants and outfits covered in money!!!). My birthday was on the Thursday and I finished celebrating on the Sunday - I think I'll need a new liver by the time the next birthday comes round but what can I say. I had a fantastic time so it was worth the sharp pains in my side i've been experiencing ever since!
So the main celebration was the Saturday. I had all my 'bestest' friends come over for a pre-town gathering and then hit the bars! People started to arrive at about 6pm - by which time I'd already consumed a few beverages, of an alcoholic nature, and was well on my way to feeling slightly merry. Once everyone arrived it was pressie time - my favourite part. I was bought some amazing gifts and squeeled like a little kid at christmas as I was opening them as my mum stood over tutting and shaking her head "you'd think she'd have grown out of all this by now"!!!
So we all looked glam, there was big hair, glittery outfits and even false eyelashes (people must have thought I had a nervous twitch but really I was trying to look seductive as I fluttered!). One of the girls looked particularly 'chesty' and after a few drinks she admitted she had socks down her bra! Brilliant!
As soon as we arrived in town the shots began (and by that I mean alcohol shots - we weren't in the murder capital!) so the burning sensation could only be rectified by another drink so before long I was talking very loudly and announcing at timely intervals that "I KNOW i'm drrrunk BUT i bloooody love you guys"
Next bar and it all started to get a bit like a swedish soft porn film - each person in turn had to do they're best cleavage shot (including the boys) and onlookers were starting to point and whisper - my mum would have been so proud! We were getting louder and louder and our jokes were getting ruder and ruder, the gang was in full swing!
So onto the next venue and it was salsa time "clear some space everyone, I'm going to show you my dance moves" and without a dance floor in sight I spun and sashayed and wiggled my hips like I was in the Blackpool ballroom! I counted I had 9 bruises on me the next day so I'll let you decide for yourself how good my salsa was!!!
By this time everyone was showing the signs of alcohol excesses and we were well oiled machines! I found i'd lost my purse so went on a frantic drunken search only to find I'd given it to my sister to buy a round of drinks ten minutes previous! I lost my house key but thought it was absolutely fine once I found another on the dance floor and decided that as long as I had a key, it didn't matter whose door it was for. Strangely enough the key actually belonged to my pal which was a stroke of luck (for him not for me) so the poor bloke has been too scared to go to sleep of an evening in case I let myself into his house whilst he's sleeping and do rude things to him!!!!!!
We filled the dancefloor (more salsa from me), we drank lots more, we took loads of photos I wouldn't want my mum to see and one by one my friends were disappearing to throw up. After a crowd of about 17, there were 2 standing by the end - although my co-ordination has stopped working and I'd managed to stand on my mates foot and left a stiletto mark in it - poor girl has been wearing flat shoes ever since until the swelling goes down and her foot returns to a normal pink colour rather than the blue, yellow and purple it resembles now.
We finally decided it was time for home when I started talking to an ex boyfriend - after a million drinks its never a good decision. The last thing I remember was my pal taking me by the arm and saying "come on Polly, its time to get you home".
Once back at my Ivory Towers I forgot which flat I lived in so decided to press all the intercom buttons (i'm still waiting for the dog poo through my letterbox!). We finally made it upstairs to find bodies everywhere (not dead ones luckily but also not conscious!). There was broken glass all over the floor where one of the girls had tried to smoke something illegal out of the window and knocked a vase over and another girls snoring was echoing round the block!!! I'd threatened to make her sleep in the car but she'd snook into the spare room!
I eventually crawled into bed and curled up next to my pal and I was out the minute my head hit the pillow. When I woke up a few hours later I thought someone had tried to beat me up - i've had some hangovers in my time but oh my lord, this was a bad un. The flat looked and smelt like the zoo with all our sweaty bodies in one small area and we all looked grim - and a little green.
No matter how bad the hangover though, I had an incredible night. Next year for my birthday can someone please buy me a new liver.....or a 5 night stint in a rehab centre???
Much love xxxxx
